<?php
Function fortune($fortunefile)
{
$FORTUNE_FH = fopen($fortunefile,"r"); /* Fortune file. */
$fortunefile_dat = $fortunefile . '.dat'; /* The data files have a .dat extension. */
$FORTUNE_DAT_FH = fopen($fortunefile_dat,"rb"); /* Fortune data file. */

$strfile_header = fread($FORTUNE_DAT_FH,21); /* Read in first 21 bytes (5 ulong+char) */
$strfile_header_array = unpack('N5ulong/C1char',$strfile_header); /* Unsigned longs are in NBO */
$strfile_header_array[char] = chr($strfile_header_array[char]); /* uchar -> string */
$strfile_header_array[char] = "\n$strfile_header_array[char]"; /* Add \n to beginning on seperation char. */

mt_srand((double) microtime() * 1000000); /* Seed the random number generator. */
$fortunefile_seek = mt_rand(1,$strfile_header_array[ulong2])*4; /* How much farther to seek? */

fseek($FORTUNE_DAT_FH,($fortunefile_seek+20)); /* Seeking... */
$fortunefile_offset_hex = fread($FORTUNE_DAT_FH,4); /* Find the offset. */
$fortunefile_offset = unpack('Noffset',$fortunefile_offset_hex); /* Convert to decimal */
fclose($FORTUNE_DAT_FH); /* Don't need the data file anymore. */

fseek($FORTUNE_FH,$fortunefile_offset[offset]); /* Seek to the fortune */
$fortunefile_unparsed_fortune = fread($FORTUNE_FH,$strfile_header_array[ulong3]); /* Read up to the length of longest string. */
fclose($FORTUNE_FH); /* Don't need the fortune file open anymore. */

$fortunefile_parsed_fortune = explode($strfile_header_array[char],$fortunefile_unparsed_fortune); /* Split it at the seperation character. */
trim($fortunefile_parsed_fortune[0]); /* Remove \r if read on a Windows box. */

return($fortunefile_parsed_fortune[0]);
}
?>